7 Again, I saw vanity under the sun: 8 one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—
a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
— Ecclesiastes 4:7-12, ESV

A man of a thousand women may not be the best person to ask for advice on relationships.  But Ecclesiastes is Solomon’s confessional and philosophical guide to a better life with God and man.  It is filled with wisdom born of terrible mistakes, genuine repentance, renewed faith, and keen observation.  

Chapter four is framed by this text with one warning and two encouragements.  The warning is against being overly independent.  The encouragements come when we invite other people into our lives, naturally and supernaturally.  

Solomon had tried it the hard way.  Now he points toward a better, truly easier life to live.  Like the old Jackson 5 song, he says, “It’s easy as 1, 2, 3.”

The Curse of One

The text begins by taking us down low again, “under the sun.”  This is the place where people live without God in their lives.  Such life is fleeting, futile, and faithless, a fair summation of the meaning of the word “vanity.”  Look down there and who do you see?

Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser?
Beaten by the Queen of Hearts every time
Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser?
He’s a loser, but he still keeps on tryin’
— David John Briggs (Little River Band)

Solomon saw himself in the picture and remembered that young, ambitious, pleasure-seeking king.  A man of a thousand women does not have one real relationship.  He used women as sex toys, men as slaves, and God as a means to become rich and famous.  At the pinnacle of his success he had every thing and no one.  

Perhaps he saw into the future of American capitalism and saw the many business and professional people who work long hours for large sums of money to buy big homes and big cars and other big things for themselves.  Many don’t make time to marry and have children as they consume life by getting all they can, canning all they get, then sitting on the can.  

He might even have peeked at the day-planner of the modern megachurch pastor who speaks everywhere but says nothing.  He has thousands of members back at the home church but knows none of them.  He makes millions off of his many books but none of them are worth reading.  Self-serving workaholics abound in the religious and the secular worlds.

There is a curse for living by looking out for number one.  It is not a curse upon singleness.  Jesus was single.  Many good and godly people find themselves without a spouse or children at their side.  No, Solomon is not warning us about the curse of living the single life, but of living the selfish life.

“Vanity under the sun” is for the one who lives for just one.  He never has enough.  He never has fun.  He never has friends.  All he has is stuff, maybe a few accomplishments, perhaps some recognitions, but nothing real, lasting, or satisfying to the soul.  He dies without a proper heir “under the sun” and without a true and living God “under heaven.”  If that is not a curse, a curse of one, I don’t know what is.

Solomon says there is a better way to live.  You can endure the curse of one.  Or, you can enjoy the blessing of two.

The Blessing of Two

“Better” is the first word of transitional verse nine.  “Better two than one,” is the literal Hebrew rendering.  It is better to be blessed than cursed.  Duh.  

The blessing only comes, however, when you value people and relationships more than prizes and riches.  You also have to trade your independence, a tough thing for rugged American individualists to do, for a healthy co-dependence with others, human and divine.  

The relationships recommended by Solomon and all of Scripture are filial, marital, familial, and spiritual.  We all need friends.  Most of us need a spouse (I am not apt enough to make it through life without mine).  Most children are an added blessing to their parents.  Everyone, without exception, needs the blessings of God in this life for this life and for the life to come.  

Look in this text at the many blessings of “two are better than one.”  These blessings begin when you let other people into your life.  The benefits are enjoyable, practical, even spiritual.  

First of all, having friends and companions is fun.  God wants you to have fun.  He just doesn’t want fun to become your God.  

The cursed man in vs. 7-8 was alone; therefore, he had no “pleasure,” and was “unhappy.”  Friends make life more fun.  I went to a movie alone, once in my life, it was no fun (although I did get to eat all the popcorn and drink all the coke without sharing).  I play golf alone, occasionally, and it really is no fun with no witnesses to see all those holes-in-one.  I’ve been single and I’ve been married and I can tell you that marriage is more fun, not perfect, but fun.  I have four daughters, and while raising them was not always fun, we are all adults now and great friends and we have fun every time we see each other.  The blessings of “two are better than one” are just downright run.

Secondly, having friends and companions is practically rewarding and securing.  “A good reward,” says Solomon, speaking in terms of “their toil,” job, location, living, where teamwork is always good work.  Others help “if they fall” and to “keep warm” and to “withstand” those who would hurt or harm us.  All of this speaks of the practical benefits of friendship, teamwork, networks of relationships.  

The cursed man got rich, but there was no reward.  You be a friend in your workplace, society, church, family, etc., and you will find a friend, and you will find friendship is the best reward in this life.  Like the angel Clarence told George Bailey at the conclusion of It’s a Wonderful Life, “No man is a failure who has friends.”

Thirdly, having friends and companions is emotionally inspiring.  “For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow” does not just apply to workplace accidents.  Depression, anxiety, rejection all hurt far worse than sticks and stones.  

The cursed man died in vain and unhappiness, in spite of all the stuff he had.  The blessed man will have his share of unhappiness, too, but he has someone to talk him through it, someone to “life up his fellow.”  It is the dark times in life when you find out who your true friends are, and what a great and priceless blessing they are to your life.

Finally, having friends and companions makes you spiritually strong.  The whole point of Ecclesiastes is to help you grow, spiritually.  I believe the “threefold cord” is God, in you, in your closest friends and companions, and around you, securing your life “under heaven” before taking you up.

The cursed man died “under the sun.”  He was dead, buried, and forgotten.  He was dead to God, too, separated from Him forever.  Not so for the one blessed with “two are better than one” and the “threefold cord.”

When I think of the friends and companions God has put in my life, I know how truly blessed I am.  When I think of the friends and companions in my life, I realize they all have one thing in common, they are all godly people.  You need godly friends.  Most of all, however, you need God as your best friend.

The God of Three

Some would suggest identifying God as the “threefold cord” is overspiritualizing the words of Ecclesiastes.  I would disagree.  It seems God has an affinity for the number three.

God is Himself a blessed and holy Trinity, Father and Son and Holy Spirit, one God, three persons.  He is praised as such, three times, by the angels (ref. Isaiah 6:3) and the saints (ref. the great Reginald Heber hymn) who sing, “Holy, holy, holy” to the Lord.

In the Old Covenant, there were three patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, three annual festivals featuring Passover, Pentecost, and Yom Kippur.  In the New Covenant Jesus overcame the temptation of the devil three times, had three closest friends, Peter, James, and John, and rose again on the third day.  

So it is not a stretch to see the “threefold cord” as God’s involvement in all of our relationships and God’s desire to be our greatest and most important relationship.  If one is a curse, and two is a blessing, then the God of three is the ultimate reward to have in this life, and the life to come.

Three things (yes, three!) are necessary for such a relationship: grace, faith, and Christ.  Without all three of them, you are down to the curse of one.  Even the blessings of two result in a wasted life without all three.  

In an ecclesiastical philosophy of life, success all comes down to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Solomon did not know this as such.  But by God’s grace, he came to true faith, in the one, true, and living God who revealed Himself to the king.  This is the God who was, is, and always will be three in one, Father and Son and Holy Spirit.  

One, grab hold of the grace of God today.  Two, have faith, obedient trust, in Him and His word and His ways.  Three, He will hold you, and all of your relationships, and never let you go, all the way from “under the sun” to “heaven.”  It’s as easy as one, two, three.