1 As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. 10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.”  12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
— Romans 14:1-12, ESV

I have often admitted to being a recovering fundamentalist.  A fundamentalist is a kind of pharisaical Christian, though not exactly a Pharisee.  A Pharisee is someone who thinks he doesn’t need Jesus because he thinks his own good works and rule-keeping will earn him a place in Heaven.  Fundamentalists need Jesus and love Jesus, but they also, like the Pharisees, pack a boatload of extra-biblical rules and regulations into what they consider necessary for a good and godly life.

I thank God for the fundamentalists in my life.  They led me to Christ.  They tried to disciple me in my early years as a Christian.  They taught me a lot of good Bible doctrines and showed me a number of good ways to worship and serve the Lord.  They just overdid it a bit.

Because of them I separated myself from lost people and most Christians who did not follow Jesus in the same fundamentalist way.  Separatism is a pharisaical tendency if there ever was one.  I also missed out on a lot of good food and drink that I was led to believe the Bible prohibited, but I’m making up for it now.  Worst of all, I looked down my nose and judged people, even family and friends, who did not follow the same fundamentalist and pharisaical principles I was taught, a sin of pride that plagues me to this day.

If only I had stuck with my first impression of this section of Romans.  Flowing out of the previous context’s emphasis on loving one another (ref. Romans 13:8ff), Paul shows us some ways to take action; or, in this case, inaction, in order to enjoy unity with fellow believers and put forth a full witness for Christ.  Sometimes, we just have to love and let live.  

Black and White

“As for the one who is weak in faith,” the emphasis is not on “weak” but on “faith.”  We cannot even be sure what “weak” means, but we know what “faith” the Apostle Paul is talking about, the Christian faith.  Certain things about the Christian faith are black and white.

The Christian faith rests upon what we like to call the fiver pillars or solas of the Great Reformation: Scripture alone, grace alone, faith alone, Christ alone, and the glory of God alone.  The Bible reveals the gospel, the gospel demands and delivers repentance and faith, and faith is to be lived out for the good of others and the glory of God.  Most of the parameters are plain if Scripture is your guide, your salvation is genuine, and God’s glory is your goal.

The Ten Commandments are black and white.  God’s guidelines on sex and sexuality are not the colors of the rainbow, and even though I love the colors of the rainbow, I must conclude they are mostly black and white.  Spiritual disciplines that delight God, and make you delight in God, like public worship and Bible study and prayer and giving, are as plain as the black and white pages of holy writ.  There is a lot about the Christian faith that is not complicated.  

But while God’s word is not that complicated, God’s people are.  Some are “weak.”  Paul’s original audience was the church in Rome comprised of Jews and Gentiles.  It is most likely that the Jewish Christians carried some pharisaical tendencies into their Christian faith.  Or, it could have been the Gentile Christians who carried over vestiges of paganism and superstition into their Christian faith.  Perhaps “We are (all) weak, His is strong!” 

While we cannot be altogether sure who is “weak,” “weak” in this context does not mean bad, just different.  When different Christians have different “opinions” about what’s not black and white in Scripture, we are to love one another, “welcome” one another, and not “pass judgement” upon one another.  This part is pretty black and white.

In other words, love and let live.  

Shades of Grey

The problem with fundamentalist Christians is they are color blind.  They see everything in black and white.  For them there are no shades of grey, let alone color.  They consider their “opinions” infallible and “pass judgement” on others.  This is not the way you want to live your Christian life.  You want to love and let live.

What are some of the shades of grey in the Christian life?  Paul mentions two: food choices and special observances.  Paul identifies the “weak” as vegetarians.  He did not say there were wrong, he said they were relatively “weak.”  I think they’re crazy!  

The other relatively “weak” choice, according to Paul, was to “esteem one day as better than the other” rather than “esteem all days alike.”  In the Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Anglican traditions, every Sunday is a special day named after some saint or event in Christian history (I once got accosted by a visiting Lutheran for preaching a Gospel passage on Pentecost Sunday).  We Puritans and Baptists just consider every Sunday to be the Lord’s Day.  One is not right, one is not wrong, both are just different “opinions.”  

So don’t go quoting Ivan Drago to your vegetarian or high church friends, “You are weak, I must break you.”  Our bodies are a temple of the Lord, we should eat and drink accordingly.  The church is a temple where temples gather for worship, in different ways, which should be scriptural but not rigid.  Find a diet and a church that best suits your “opinions,” then love and let live.  

What are some other matters of the Christian faith that faithful Christians can agree to disagree upon?  Let the controversy begin!  Such speculation may raise more questions than answers, and to be dogmatic on an issue would miss the point.  But allow me to offer some of my “opinions” on matters where we should love and let live.

The use of alcohol and tobacco are big taboos to some Christians, yet freely embraced by others.  My hero of the faith, Baptist Pastor Charles Haddon Spurgeon, loved cigars and brandy.  Another Baptist Pastor, Elijah Craig, invented charred-oak-barrel-aged bourbon.  I drank alcohol before I got saved, became a prohibitionist under the fundamentalist regime, and now am probably the only Pastor in the SBC with a fully stocked bar built into his living room.  I love and let live.

Great Christians have been greatly divided on baptism and the Lord’s Supper.  Since Baptists saw to my conversion and baptism, I’ve been a credobaptist and immerser all of my ministry.  Who am I, however, to argue with J.I. Packer and R.C. Sproul?  Nowadays, our church may be the only one in the SBC to accept paedobaptism or credobaptism for membership.  We love and let live.  

Another debate is between complimentarianism and egalitarianism, whether or not women can preach or be pastors.  For the record, I have a masters degree from a decidedly complimentarian seminary and a doctorate from one which is totally egalitarian.  I tend to side with the complimentarians but could easily coexist with the egalitarians.  I have never ordained a woman pastor, but my favorite preacher of all time is Elizabeth Elliot (Alistair Begg is a close second, for the accent alone, and I was born too late to hear Spurgeon in person).    And if one of my four daughters decide to become a Pastor (in the Bible the deacon Philip had four daughters who were preachers), I may or may not ordain her, but I’d definitely join her church after I retire.  I’d love and let live.  

Then there is the infamous argument between Calvinists and Arminians, who offer different opinions about important matters like salvation and the sovereignty of God.  In this matter someone has to be right, and someone has the right to be wrong, but in spite of differing “opinions” we are all Christians.  I got fired once for being a Calvinist, even though five of the seven assistant pastors we hired during my tenure were Arminians.  I loved and let live, they couldn’t, and the damage done ripples to this day.  

Two Christians can have two different opinions about two or more different matters and still both be Christians.  The late, great, and very dogmatic James Montgomery Boice admitted, “Christians are not clones.”  We may not always be able to do church together, for homogeneous units generally strengthen worship and outreach, but we can do Christianity together for all the world to see.  We must love and let live.  

Perfectly Clear

I have some final questions.  Why can I enjoy perfectly grilled pork chops, while better men like Abraham, Moses, and David never had the chance?  Why did God kill Nadab and Abahu, and later poor Uzzah, for not representing God in the right way, while Joel O’Steen continues to live?  Why did God kill Ananias and Sapphira for withholding their giving, when people do it today carte blanche?  Not everything is perfectly clear in the Bible.  

But this text is perfectly clear on particular points.  When it comes to our fellow Christians, who have different opinions about non-black-and-white matters, we are to love them, “welcome them,” “not to quarrel” with them, not to “pass judgement” upon them, nor “despise them” in any way.  

Instead of focusing on how other Christians follow Christ, why don’t you focus on how you follow Christ.  Make sure you “honor the Lord” (mentioned 3 times in vs. 6) and do things whereby you can “give thanks to God” (mentioned 2 times in vs. 6).  Obeying the Scriptures honors the Lord, and obeying your Christian conscience does, too.  “Be fully convinced in your own mind” and remember the Jerry Clower Rule: if you can thank God for it, enjoy it; if you can’t, don’t!  

In conclusion, remember you are not your brother’s or sister’s judge.  God is.  And, God will be your judge and my judge, too.  “We will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ” where every Christian man and woman “will give an account of himself to God.”  This much is perfectly clear.  

This sounds scary, doesn’t it?  Please, do not worry.  Paul is simply making the point here that we are not one another’s judge, God is.  And, God is gracious, merciful, rewarding not punishing, towards His people.  Does God condemn the so-called “weak” in this passage?  No, and neither will He condemn you, especially if you’ve lived a Christian life where you’ve loved and let live.

I actually taught this text in a more rudimentary form over forty years ago.  Upon my conversion to Christ in college, being a minor sports celebrity in a sports-crazed town, I got invited to speak at a lot of churches and church groups.  I was reading through Romans when an invitation came to address a gathering of FCA students.  This text had struck me, so I shared it with the group, along the same lines as I’ve shared it with you today. 

Some in the group belonged to my fundamentalist church.  The reported me to the fundamentalist leaders who took me aside to stress the fundamentals of our faith.  The next thing you know, I cut my long hair, started wearing a tie, got me a big King James Bible, separated from my lost friends, shunned other church groups, and started towing the company line.  I still wear ties.  

They loved me, I have no doubt, but they took from me this generous version of Christianity that I believe is taught here in the New Testament.  It has taken me a lifetime to regain it.  I still fight for the black and white.  But when it comes to the grey, and yes, there is plenty of it, I simply love and let live.